Category Archives: Bollywood

Duniya Meri Jeb Mein

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Duniya Meri Jeb Mein is kind of insane. But it sneaks up on you. It starts out all about family and brotherly love and then it drags in the circus, deception, murder, amputations and revenge. God knows what inspired Tinnu Anand who directed it. It’s also another Kapoor Khazana delight as it stars Shashi and Rishi Kapoor, plus Neetu Singh.

Beth wrote this film up some time ago, and I strongly recommend the LolBolly masterpiece she created.

Karan (Shashi) lives in a spectacular house run by Mrs Robins (Nadira), the mother of his dead friend Johnny. She looks after Karan as a means of keeping her son’s memory alive, and seems to be Shashi’s only friend. He is the sole financial support for his little brother, Vishal (Rishi), who is at a fancy college and believes that Shashi is a successful businessman (he pretends he owns the house Mrs Robins works in, and borrows fancy suits).

Karan is poor but honest only not really honest but he is dishonest for the right reasons so that’s OK isn’t it?

Vishal is a top student.  He turns down a scholarship as he believes his big brother will provide for him and so wants someone less fortunate to benefit. That’s a nice gesture, but it puts the pressure on Karan to deliver a scholarship to the USA.  Vishal falls in love with Neeta (Neetu) in the course of a chance meeting, and they spend a lot of time sneaking in and out of each other’s hostel rooms.

For most of the first half, Neeta and Vishal occupy the romantic comedy track with support from Paintal and assorted college personnel. It wasn’t my favourite element of the film, as I found Vishal bordering on the sleazy and entitled rather than boyishly charming. He never really considered the damage to Neeta’s reputation or that he may get her expelled. It was about what he wanted and the tricks he employed to get his hands on her. Neeta didn’t have to do much apart from chase Vishal around. Rishi got a spectacular spotty shirt which I did applaud.

Karan scrambles to keep up the deception about his finances as Vishal and Neetu are engaged and her family come to meet him. In an alcohol fuelled meltdown, he tries to tell the truth but the guests, including the house owner Diwanchand (Agha), just think he has a knack for metaphors.

Yes it is all a bit complicated. Perhaps they’re all stunned by the architecture. It must have been like living inside an Easter egg with all the curved walls, and I can’t begin to describe the art collection.

Karan has been funding Vishal’s lifestyle by working in a circus. He and Rawat (Ranjeet) are trapeze artists so be warned, there will be leotards (although Shashi looks more like he dressed for cricket).

Ranjeet is hired to break into a wealthy criminals abode. His employer thinks of everything, right down to detailed building models and a training course, and it becomes clear Ranjeet needs more assistance.  Or possibly a bit less Ranjeet as he isn’t terribly nimble.

Karan believes that they are breaking into the apartment to rescue a little girl. Sigh. I suppose that can be put down to being a good person, but the matching pleather pants are never explained. My DVD is terrible quality so it’s almost impossible to screencap the trapeze sequence between the buildings but it is great, especially with the cheesy disco soundtrack (thanks Rajesh Roshan!).

Shashi is betrayed and his life ruined in one swoop.

Ranjeet is hired to finish Karan off so he cannot testify, and he does seem to take to the dark side with ease. There is lurking and suspense, enhanced by dramatic lighting and camera angles. But Ranjeet isn’t a very skilful assassin, and the bed-ridden man with no legs manages to fight him off. It’s clear by now that Karan is hard to kill.

Karan sets out for justice and vengeance, which are sort of interchangeable in this film. There is a token police presence, Inspector Yadav (Sudhir), who is also out to solve the crimes. He doesn’t really add a lot of menace or suspense, but there is a law and order message in amongst all the shenanigans.

Some men might give up when faced with double leg amputation and the destruction of their dreams, but Karan is made of sterner stuff. Vishal decides to feel very hard done by. Yes, clearly he is suffering the most. In fact, everything is always about Vishal and he is quite tiresome as he feels sorry for himself, and then weepily apologises. I was especially irritated by a scene when he berated Karan for secretly working in a circus which meant that of course he was also a thief and a murderer. Not Rishi’s finest character choice. Shashi and Rishi have great rapport, and their brotherly relationship played out really well in the less fraught scenes.

Diwanchand sort of adopts the boys. While Vishal and Mrs Robins believe he is tucked up in his very stylish bedroom, Karan is really honing his sneaky carpentry skills (but how did he get the materials?). The last 45 minutes is where it gets crazy. Karan takes to the streets on his wheely board, searching for Rawat. Helen does her thing! Karan demonstrates an impressive near-vertical take-off which I put down to his circus training. Or something.

There are lingering doubts about some things. Things like why, when on the Conveyor Belt of Death, Shashi didn’t just roll backwards but you know, it doesn’t pay to overthink.

Neetu more or less disappears in the second half of the film. It’s all about the manly angst as the brothers fight about who will do the revenging, but then Neetu comes back as Ranjeet bait. There are more disguises and complicated scheming and…

The finale should be seen rather than described but naturally, evil cannot withstand a double Kapoor onslaught even if evil has a helicopter. Especially once the Kapoors stop arguing with each other.

I can’t help but enjoy this very silly film, and love that Shashi still gives a  committed performance. I also enjoy seeing Vishal cop a tight slap from Mrs Robins. I would have liked a better soundtrack, especially as Neetu was underutilised and more songs might have given her more to do. 3 stars!

Ready (Salman Khan)

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I thought I was, but I really wasn’t.

Ready for Ready that is.

Having seen the original Telugu version  and then the Tamil remake Uthama Puthiran  I felt that I really should watch the Hindi version to complete the set. So despite some strong reservations I went with a group of friends thinking that moral support would be needed. And I was right!

The original Telugu film was so successful because of the chemistry and personality of the two leads. Ram and Genelia were able to take a fairly ridiculous story and make it engaging because they were both so likeable in their roles. Similarly, there was chemistry between Dhanush and Genelia in the Tamil remake and the comedy was funny and appropriate. Sadly though, the Hindi version has none of these things. The leads aren’t likeable, there is no chemistry and the comedy is incredibly juvenile and inane.

The weakest part of the film in all versions is the story, which doesn’t hold up very well to being remade when the whole point is completely missed. Ready was originally a coming of age story about a young man becoming ‘ready’ to settle down and commit to the girl he has fallen in love with. This seems to have totally escaped Rajan Aggarwal and Ikram Akhtar when they re-wrote the screenplay.  While I applaud the idea of making Asin more independent and more in control of her life, the way in which this was attempted just made her appear conniving and manipulative. Not attractive at all.

Briefly, Prem Kapoor lives in a huge house with his many uncles and aunts.  He helps his next door neighbour’s daughter run away to marry the man she really loves, and as a result the family guru organises a bride for Prem in an attempt to make him more responsible. I really don’t see how that was supposed to work, but nevertheless that was the plan. Meanwhile Sanjana has run away from her forced wedding to her cousin. Her parents are dead and her two feuding uncles both want to gain control of her fortune by marrying her off to their respective sons. Sanjana escapes to the airport, but rather than getting on a plane and heading back to the USA, she decides to pretend to be the prospective bride Pooja that Prem has come to meet. She ingratiates herself into the household by putting Prem down at every turn. This was also probably supposed to be funny, but just wasn’t. There are many cameo appearances by a lot of stars who really should have known better, and a cast of thousands as the respective uncles, aunts, cousins of Prem and Sanjana.

The rest of the story more closely follows the original. The two warring sides of the family turn up and Sanjana ends up imprisoned. Prem tracks her down and in the course of rescuing Sanjana manages to civilise her warring relatives with the help of his own family. This also involves befuddling their accountant, Paresh Rawal as Balidaan ‘Baali’ Bhardwaj, who is the only actor prepared to actually commit to his character. This redemption of the families felt very rushed and there was no real attempt to explain the reasons behind the feud. There was much more time spent on toilet humour and throw away one-liners that just weren’t funny, rather than trying to make any sense out of the plot. I know that it doesn’t make much sense in any case, but it is so disjointed here that it’s hard to work out exactly why Prem’s family all show up. The only thing that did make me laugh was a subtitle referring to scrabbled eggs, and I don’t think that was intentional.

The various supporting actors propped up as much as they could of the story but really the film is a showcase for Salman, so everything revolves around his character. l do like Salman Khan and think he was fantastic in Dabangg and Partner, but he doesn’t seem to make any effort whatsoever here. He seems to play himself rather than the character of Prem and there are just too many self-referential ‘jokes’. Usually these manage to amuse but even the time-honoured tradition of Salman taking off his shirt seemed tired and lack-lustre here. There are some pretty locations though.

I strongly suspect that Salman choreographed his own routines since there was very little actual dancing, even in the item song above with Zarine Khan. Even worse was the remake of Devi Sri Prasad’s Ringa Ringa from Arya2. Thrusting, scratching, shaking, twitching and grimacing at the camera is not dancing! There is no comparison at all with the original – click on the link above after watching Dinka Chinka and you’ll see what I mean!

I‘ve seen Asin dance and act in Sivakasi and Pokkiri, so I know she’s capable of so much more than she was given to do in this film. The lack of chemistry between her and Salman is perhaps not too surprising given the age difference, but at times it makes for somewhat uncomfortable viewing. The only reason I can see here for Prem to fall in love with Sanjana is that she’s the only woman who isn’t instantly in love with him, or perhaps it’s because she is just as manipulative and self-centred as he is. It’s totally irrelevant to the plot in any case and not much time is spent on the romance in the second half. I’ve never been much of a fan of Anees Bazmee’s films and this certainly isn’t going to change my mind. There is no coherent development of the story and far too much reliance on pee and fart jokes rather than actual comedy.

If you do want to watch this film I would recommend Telugu version instead – a much better film with actual dancing and funnier comedy. This film just kept losing points for me as I was so disappointed with it in comparison with the original. I also know that Salman can be much better than this and it’s really frustrating to see him put in such a mediocre performance. I really didn’t like this Ready at all!

Chori Mera Kaam

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A child is kidnapped, only to see the criminal Amarchand (Anwar Hussain) stymied by Inspector Kumar (Policeman PRAN!). Kidnapping was clearly Amarchand’s go to plan as before long, Inspector Kumar’s eldest son is also abducted. This tactic fails, as Pran announces he would sacrifice all of his children, not just one, to bring a crook to justice.

Oh dear, such a promise made to the filmi forces of fate can only mean bad news. Things happen, as they do, especially when guns, alcohol and revenge are involved. Young Munna is abducted, rescued, caught, menaced, rescued, abducted again and finally taken in by a thief called Mr John (David Abraham).

Years pass and Munna becomes Bholanath (Shashi Kapoor).

He leaves jail after a delivering a ‘fortunately/unfortunately’ style monologue that exercises his range of facial and vocal expressions. His on/off girlfriend Sharmilee (Zeenat Aman) gets out at the same time and this delightful Kalyanji Anandji song gives us a fly on the wall view of their daily rounds:

While Bhola has a heart of gold he isn’t the brightest crayon in the box, and gets by on charm more than planning. He understands people and can take advantage of their weakness and stupidity but he doesn’t ever seem to think too far ahead. Bhola has many of the traits of a stock filmi heroine and Shashi seems quite unselfconscious about playing dim and pretty. And yes, Shashi naysayers, I do think he was acting. He could have been dressed prettier though – the brown highpants are not good especially with the Kapoor thighs.

Sharmilee is smart and more practical, despite her predilection for ruffly outfits, and I never expected to see Zeenat stealing a chicken so that was noteworthy. Sharmilee has a sick father that she supports through her petty crimes, and she explains to him that her work is what takes her away. I liked this slight role reversal where the lady gets to come and go, citing ‘work’ and her responsibility as breadwinner. It isn’t a sustained element as she does get sidelined towards the finale, but it is fun to see the girl in charge for a while and Zeenat suits this kind of role. She directs Bhola during a break in and seems to coach him in what he needs to do to carry off a con.

Shashi and Zeenat have nice chemistry as the likeable criminals. They play out their scams with relish, and bounce dialogue back and forth with dash and enthusiasm. They also have some great outfits and Shashi scores some excellent shirts.

Escaping from the police after an attempted burglary, Bhola and Sharmilee make off with a briefcase which contains a manuscript called ‘Chori Mera Kaam’. They are spotted by the mysterious Shankar (Ashok Kumar), who has a history with Mr John and unbeknownst to Bhola, was instrumental in his early life. He also seems to be beloved by the wig department.

The obligatory comic relief  in this case is a protracted and very amusing scam involving Sharmilee being allegedly hit by a car ad killed. Pravinbhai (Deven Varma), the unfortunate driver is conned into paying compensation and digging a grave at the ruins near Borivili. By coincidence this is where Shankar hangs around. By an even more fortuitous coincidence, Pravin owns a publishing house.

Bhola becomes an overnight sensation, his illiteracy and lack of nous covered up by Shankar who blackmails Bhola and Sharmilee for a share of the proceeds. This manual on how to commit the perfect crime draws the attention of villains and the police. Amarchand aka arch-criminal Number 7 wants to find a mask maker as per page 165 of ‘Chori Mera Kaam’ so he can carry out even more heinous crimes. I love that the police seem totally mystified by how people keep getting away with crimes described in the book, although they also read it so surely they should be prepared. Number 7 does have an expensive looking lair to maintain, right down to the essential stuffed tiger, so I can imagine his cashflow was under some pressure.

And then the plot thickens.

There are cross and double cross manoeuvres, silly disguises and improbable schemes. So it’s all great fun but there is a pinch of substance. The film favours the ‘good’ criminals – those who steal because they are poor, have dependants and have no other means of making a livingl. These are the sympathetic and sentimentally appealing characters. Writer K A Narayan makes some observations about the hypocrisy of the wealthy educated criminal like Amarchand who has no such excuse for his choices.

Iftekhar as the Police Commissioner looks like he turned up on the wrong set but was too polite to just leave so stayed on and did his bit. I liked Ashok Kumar as a paunchy middle aged hero – he was smart, capable and took to the wigs with great enthusiasm.  Shetty made a flamboyant purple suited appearance so it was clear Number 7 had opted for the very best class of henchman. Raza Murad played Shyam, Pran’s policeman son, and didn’t get much to do apart from being a lot taller than anyone in his family. Urmila Bhatt’s small role as Amarchand’s independent and dignified wife was quite pivotal, and only once in her scenes did I yell ‘nooooooooo’ at the DVD.

Eventually Bhola finds out the truth about his parentage. His biological father and brother need help to clear their names and bring Amarchand to justice, and it’s a chance for the petty crim to change his fate. The final confrontation must have given director Brij food for thought – it involves Shashi, Ashok and Pran in disguise, rain, lots of mud, a tiger and a bucket.

You may imagine how these things combine to form a wacky but satisfying conclusion, or just go watch the film. 3 stars!