Category Archives: Bollywood

Tum Mere Ho (1990)

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Aamir Khan, Juhi Chawla and snakes? Sounds like an excellent Nag Panchami Film Fesssstival subject. The film is pretty terrible, but is almost always So Bad It’s Good, and the songs are quite pleasing in both snakey choreography and energy. It may have lost something in translation due to the dodgy quality youtube version with no subs that I watched, but I doubt it.

It seems of late that Aamir has distanced himself from his pre-Lagaan career. But I say let him be known for his heroic role as Shiva the hairy-chested snake charmer who saves his lady love Paro (oh so young and pretty Juhi) from a crazed Snake Queen (Kalpana Iyer).

The film opens with Thakur Chaudhary attempting to steal a Naag Mani by using a very flawed contraption. In the process, he kills a snake and draws the ire of the Snake Queen on his own household.

 

She declares that as he killed her child, she will kill his. And off she goes and bites the young lad as he sleeps.

The weeping parents, with the Snake Queen laughing at their grief, put their son’s corpse on a little raft arrangement, and he is sent off on the currents of the river. Of course he washes up at the feet of the one man who can reverse a death by snake bite. The child lives and grows up to become Shiva (Aamir). He learns to use magical powers that involve him waving a bone and a skull around, and doing lots of fist clenching emoting.

 

He has his uncle, his snakes, a daft sidekick, and is being pursued by the village skank belle. He also has a waistcoat with a snake motif for special occasions.

Everything a boy needs!

Shiva goes into the village for some reason, possibly to deliver a snake, and sees Paro at the fair. He impresses her with his snake, and she is immediately full of dreams of love as well as thoughts of garam garam jalebis and thandi thandi kulfi.

 

My Hindi vocabulary is small and selective so I may not have captured all the nuances of her romantic fantasy. Paro is the daughter of local bigwig Chaudhary Charanjit Singh and is out of Shiva’s league.

No one wants these youngsters to get together and this leads into not entirely boring Romeo and Juliet territory. I was concerned the snake theme may dissipate, but Shiva uses snakes as part of his courtship ritual which was an interesting approach. Paro can’t stop thinking about him, his snake, and possibly those jalebis and so love blooms.

They’re so young! So pretty! He’s in a floral blouse!

Romance blossoms despite Paro’s father arranging attacks on Shiva using black sorcery, beatings and guns.

 

Of course, merely locking Shiva in his room cannot keep them apart, not while clever snake Naga Raj is there to unlock the door.

Shiva’s people want to keep him away from Paro too as they can see she is trouble for their boy.

Shiva and Paro scamper around the forest looking like the poster children for young love and carefree premarital fumbling.

Until the revelation that Paro has been married since she was 3 years old to some unseen Rajput scion. Guess who that boy was? Sigh. Shiva has to perform at her wedding (oh the tragedy!) before Paro is sent to live a widow’s (I’m guessing the widow bit as she wore white, no sindoor, and cried non-stop so it was quite funereal anyway) life at her in-laws and mopes around a lot.

Note: Re the village belle –  Despite her clothing usually erring on the correct side of the fabric to flesh ratio for a snake, she does fail other snake tests and is a Fake Snake.

Anyway Paro’s change of address propels Shiva back to his family home and into Snake Queen territory. He does a lot of pining and trying to lure Paro out with his snake music, which is just asking for trouble.

Naga Raj saves his human from the Snake Queen which made me wonder about the Snake Code and what did a snake have to do for other snakes to turn against it, and did they have to show just cause if they were opposing a more powerful creature?  And also, what were her responsibilities towards lesser snakes? Was she justified in attacking them? It raised so many questions.

I did like this song where the Snake Queen impersonates Juhi, but is caught out by her excessive accessories (compared to the pristine white of the real Paro). She misses a couple of easy bites. I really had to question this whole selective bite placement thing that filmi snakes seem to have.

It emerges that the uncle snake charmer knows Shiva’s real identity. Shiva’s father rejects the idea as some attempt at magic although I wondered if that was really to protect his son given that the vengeful snake was likely to still be around. All unaware of this peril, Shiva and Paro return to the forest and I think they sort of get married. Wedding rituals in the snake charmer village seemed quite straightforward, and there was a robust approach to courtship. Basically, if you can catch your person and subdue them, you’re as good as married.

Having set Naga Raj to wait outside (after a bit of a chat about the privacy required on one’s wedding night), Aamir and Juhi are alone. He does lots of nuzzling and she looks like she has passed out. But the Snake Queen takes the opportunity to attack.

 

Can Shiva’s magical powers save Paro? Will there be flying snakes? Will it involve a ritual both very silly and slightly icky? Will someone go up in a ball of flames? Will people just learn how to get along? What do you think? (If you really have to know, I can’t help you thanks to Shemaroo – who don’t care enough to release decent quality DVDs but will stop you watching this on youtube. Sigh)

This is not a good film but I was entertained enough and don’t regret the time spent. I can’t say that for every film I see! Tahir Hussain hasn’t created a masterpiece but he has made a pretty solid snake revenge romance. The soundtrack by Anand-Milind is pleasant, and there is some nicely energetic dancing. And you know, Aamir, Juhi and those snakes. 2 ½ stars!

Filmi Snake Spotter’s Field Guide

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We are delighted to have a special guest post for Liz’s Nag Panchami Film Fesssstival by BollyWhat’s resident snake fancier, jenni.

THE ILLUSTRATED FILMI SNAKE SPOTTER’S FIELD GUIDE

If you have ever seen the film Nagin (1976) you will know what I mean.  That is, that you are really much better off if you can identify a vengeful snake, before you are…well….dead.

If only they had been able to access my handy Snake Spotter’s Field Guide.

 original photograph located at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/dramaqueennorma/122105967/

Introduction

In this guide we will illustrate only a small sample of the many hundreds of filmi snake species featured in subcontinental movies, but sufficient, we hope, to show enough of those commonly spotted varieties, and a selection of rarities, to satisfy the beginner and excite the specialist.

Habitat

We have concentrated on snakes that are hardy enough to have tolerated subtitling and You Tube exposure.  The filmi snakes in this Guide are restricted to the DVD and VCD habitats.   Those filmi snakes only found on videotape and 18mm film are extremely rare and outside the scope of this particular guide.  Indeed, VCD snakes are often difficult to glimpse and are dwindling in numbers to the extent that some may even be endangered.  This is due to years of neglect and the gradual encroachment upon, and degradation of, their natural environment.

Methodology

The following observations are based on extensive work in the field and hours of YouTube research.  Although scientific validation has been undertaken through consultation with both acknowledged experts and enthusiastic amateurs in the area, hypotheses are always subject to revision with an expanded evidence base.

Instructions:

It is a simple case of frequency.  The more of the following identifying characteristics present in any film, the more likely you are to have bagged yourself a filmi snake!

 

General Filmi Snake Identifying Characteristics

1. Sex

Most important filmi snakes are female.  Male filmi snakes are generally underrepresented and play a comparatively small role in the proceedings.

2.  Actors

If the actor is an item girl (or even an actor who has repeatedly appeared in item numbers), the likelihood of that person being a snake is increased.

3.  Clothing:

a.  Amount of clothing

It is particularly the case in post 70’s movies, that more of a  ‘reverse proportionate’  factor in clothing increases the likelihood of the wearer of said clothing being a snake.  i.e.  the less, and more skanky, the clothing the more likely the wearer is to be a snake.  This appears to be a rapidly developing characteristic of the filmi snake, likely a genetic evolutionary response set in motion to impede the threat of extinction.

b.  Style of clothing

(i)  Female:  Body hugging attire is generally favoured by filmi snakes, therefore traditional south Indian sari tying styles or short half saris are often seen.

In more western style garb they are not averse to a body suit.

(ii)  Male:  Fairy tale princely garb often involving some kind of tunic, puffy shirt or ruffles are often found in the male of the species in the north of the subcontinent.

Southern males appear to prefer the body hugging styles of their female counterparts.

c.  Jewellery

Snakes are, by and large, nicely accessorised.  In human form one has to forego scales which have a natural glitter and sheen, and frequent attempts are made by filmi snakes to replicate this characteristic.  This is generally achieved with either metallic fabric, or substantial amounts of jewellery.

d.  Headwear

Most snakes appear to have headwear, ranging from

(i)  Everyday Use Headdress: a more subtle form (although still often elaborate from a human perspective) often daywear, frequently features a simple cobra head, usually in gold (often a give-away this one).

(ii)  Big Night Out or Ceremonial Headgear. Most snakes appear to have elaborate and bejewelled headwear for special occasions.

(iii) Confrontational Headgear:  Even more elaborate and intimidating than ceremonial headgear. As in their reptilian form, (e.g. cobra hood), this serves to make them appear more impressive and sexually desirable, more commanding and important, or just more threatening.

4.  Eyes

a.  The more eyeliner that is worn, the more likely that the wearer of said eyeliner is in fact a snake.  Heavy application of eyeliner cannot be underestimated as a hot spot indicator for the filmi snake spotting novice.

b.  Coloured contact lenses are currently popular in the filmi snake community.  There appears to be an evolutionary factor to this characteristic, in that the widespread availability of coloured contact lenses has only occurred since the mid 1980’s.

c. The “I am a snake experiencing murderous thoughts and I mean business”  Look.  Often, The Look will be highlighted with a lurid coloured camera lens filter for extra impact.  Sadly, if you are only recognising the snake at this point, you do not have much longer to live.  However, if you can identify this look when it is directed at others you still have a chance, not only of accurate filmi snake identification, but to execute a hasty exit.

5. Habitat

a.  If the said scantily dressed woman is out late at night in an isolated and often forested place, there is an increased chance that she is a snake.

b.  If there is a snake charmer/holy man present with a bedazzled snake charmer’s pipe (been), it is likely that a filmi snake is nearby.  If said snake pipe is being played, the chance a snake is likely to be revealed soon, is high (see Sound).

c.  Actual snakes or snake houses in the frame increase the likelihood of a genuine filmi snake sighting.

d.  Likewise, an environment filled with snake statues is generally a dead giveaway.

e.  (i)  The Jeetendra Effect 1 – Jeetendra Proper:    For reasons unknown Jeteendra’s presence in any film increases the chance of an appearance by a filmi snake.

(ii) The Jeetendra Effect 2 – Munchausen’s Jeetendra:  Sometimes even a Jeetendra look alike will serve this function (e.g. Naag Muni).

6.  Snake (Been) Music

Snake music appears to serve a number of functions and consequently has a complex relationship with the snakes themselves.  Essentially, snake music can provide a state of ecstatic release and abandon for the snake while in human form, through the medium of dance, albeit only briefly  (for more on Snake Dancing see Activity, part b).  Whilst initially snake music can liberate the snake from the confines of the human form, if this state is maintained for too long, or with sufficient intensity, all vestiges of the human state will be shed and the snake will revert to their inner reptilian nature and eventually, their reptilian form.

Reaction to snake music is not always helpful in discriminating filmi snakes from filmi humans in that both snakes and humans will typically experience strong reactions.  It is the underlying reason for the reactivity, however, that is the singular determinant in accurate identification.  Snake music is often cacophonous to human hearing so they will often cover their ears as a deterrent to an adverse auditory stimulus.  Snakes however, though they might also attempt to mitigate the auditory stimulus, have an adverse reaction only because the snake music in the presence of humans renders their camouflage ineffective and therefore exposes them to increased environmental threat. This is because, as previously mentioned, prolonged exposure, particularly at the hands of a trained professional (i.e. sadhu or another snake), can force any snake in human form back to its reptilian state.

Despite the complexities of the interaction between snakes and their music, for the purpose of snake identification the following is a given: If there is snake music, there are generally snakes.

6.  Activity

a.  A snake orchestra usually indicates that filmi snakes are nearby.

b.  Snake dancing provides a reasonable likelihood of a filmi snake sighting in many instances, as long as the following provisos, contraindications, and cautions are observed:

(i) Proviso

Snake devotees rather than the snakes themselves perform a number of snake dances.  These can generally be distinguished by their comparative lack of eyeliner and relatively modest attire.

(ii)  Contra-indication

For the beginner, an oft-made mistake is the misidentification of women emerging from wicker baskets being real snakes.  Although snakes in their reptile form will often perform for human audiences in a wicker basket under contract to snake charmers, snakes in human form will generally not, and if they do, it is usually only as a ruse.  The tradition of women emerging from wicker baskets draws heavily upon both snake myth and stereotype.  These snake charlatans are generally involved in the entertainment industry and bear nothing more than a passing resemblance to the real filmi snake.  At most this is a symbolic plot device to illustrate an underlying jealous or vengeful nature on the part of the character. Otherwise known as the Snakeus Imposterus or, more commonly, Fake Snake.

Snakes love dancing. Genuine snake dancing most commonly can be categorised into five major categories (there are also minor categories beyond the scope of this guide).  An illustrative example for each category is provided.

1. Discovering Your Inner Snaky Nature dance.

When snakes have been reared with humans, they are sometimes unaware of their inner reptilian nature.  Snake music at maturity will allow these naïve snakes to touch their inner nature and sexuality, eliciting both a sense of freedom and power, sometimes conflicted with a great deal of associated confusion and fear (similar in some ways to the experience of human adolescence).

2.  Mating dance.

Can take the form of either an anticipatory mating/attracting the mate or an actual mating dance with the partner.

3.  Work dance.

Either undertaken in royal snake courts, temples, or (usually in snake form) in conjunction with snake charmers for mostly human audiences.

4. Hunting dance.

This dance has the sole purpose of attracting prey (this skilled re-enactment rather than actual footage is provided for illustrative purposes, given that the actual dance is rarely witnessed – at least by someone who lives to show the video evidence).

5.  Confrontational dance.

May occur when the snake is directly under threat and may involve transformations from human, to reptilian nature revealed but still in human form, to entirely reptilian form.

General Cautionary Afterword

The previous are general guidelines, and for every guideline there is an exception.  Snake spotting can be a dangerous activity so it is best to always maintain a state of being alert (though not alarmed).

It is hoped that this guide enhances both the accuracy and safety of your Sssnake Ssspotting experience.

Ishqiya (2010)

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Ishqiya has a top cast and with the writing and directing team of Abhishek Chaubey and Vishal Bharadwaj, the story and script are top quality as well. This is Abhishek Chaubey’s first directorial venture although he worked with Vishal Bharadwaj on a number of his films as assistant, most recently Kaminey and Omkara. The screenplay here shows many of the same elegantly clever twists and turns, and there is plenty of snappy action. All of the actors make the most of their roles with some excellent performances, and it all adds up to a great film.

The film tells the story of two thieves, Khalujaan and Babban who are on the run after stealing from their boss Mushtaq. Khalujaan and Babban are uncle and nephew, and there is the added complication that Mushtaq is Khalujaan’s brother in law.  Khalujaan tries to rely on this connection to escape Mushtaq’s murderous plans for revenge but it seems that just being family isn’t enough – not when you’ve stolen from Mushtaq at any rate. After being caught by Mushtaq and his merry band of thugs near the start of the film, the pair manage to escape by means of some witty repartee and good team work. There is an interesting subtitle error here. I am quite sure that Mushtaq says kutta and really does mean ‘dog’, although possibly bog makes just as much sense.

Since they can’t find anyone willing to risk the wrath of Mushtaq and take them in, they end up planning an escape toNepal. When they end up at the border town of Gorakhpur, they decide to seek help from an old accomplice Vidyadhar Verma. However on arriving at Verma’s house, they find out that he has been killed in a tragic accident, and end up dealing with his widow Krishna instead. This creates an interesting dynamic as Krishna plays the two men against each other while she plots to use them for her own ends. Meanwhile Mushtaq turns up yet again, and in a final attempt to get enough money to pay for their freedom, Khalujaan and Babban join forces withKrishnato kidnap a local business tycoon. They plan to use the ransom money to pay off Mushtaq, but Krishna has other ideas and their kidnapping ends up with some unexpected results.

The film opens with Krishna and her husband at home and in bed as he teases and cajoles her while she tries to get him to surrender to the police. Although the couple have been kept apart by Verma’s kidnapping schemes they seem to be very much in love and Krishna obviously misses her husband while he is away on his various criminal activities. Abhishek Chaubey has cleverly drawn Krishna and Verma’s relationship in detail in just a few minutes in these opening scenes and this attention to detail in the characterisation is carried out throughout the film. For example, when we first meet Khalujaan and Babban they are celebrating their escape from Mushtaq with the loot, and just from the way they are dressed and the way they dance and celebrate, we have a lot of information about their respective characters.

The more sensible and level-headed of the two is Khalujaan, ably played by Naseeruddin Shah. He’s older, although not necessarily wiser, especially if he has had a bit too much to drink. Despite his criminal tendencies he is a romantic at heart and on meeting Krishna he praises her singing, helps her with the cooking and indulges in idealistic fantasies of the two of them together. After their first meeting he has a good look at himself in the mirror and realising that he looks his age, resorts to using some of Krishna’s kohl to darken his hair and beard to make himself look more attractive to her. It’s all so very human and natural and is just one of the ways that Abhishek Chaubey brings his characters to life. Khalujaan is also more focused on the goal of getting away with the loot, while Babban (Arshad Warsi) votes for killing Mushtaq and getting on with spending the money and enjoying life.

As Khalujaan romances Krishna from afar, Babban eyes her speculatively from almost their first meeting. He’s much more direct and it’s very telling that his first visit in Gorakhpur is the brothel. He is all male, hot-blooded and very ready and willing for action. Despite knowing that his uncle has fallen in love with Krishna, he makes a play for her too. However, even with his ‘love them and leave them’ attitude he ends up under her spell, and falls in love for probably the first time in his life. His betrayal by Krishna seems to cut much deeper than with his uncle, perhaps because this is his first love.

With his kohl rimmed eyes and knowing looks Arshad Warsi revels in the character of Babban. To some extent he revisits a little of his lovable rogue character of Circuit from the Munna Bhai series, but Babban is much more cynical and a harder persona. He has no qualms about accusing Krishna of stealing their money, or using violence to force her to reveal her plans later on. But at the same time his heartbreak when he realises he has been betrayed is very real and he genuinely seems to take an interest in Nandu (Alok Kumar), a local boy he meets at Krishna’s house.

The two men are very easily seduced and led by the enigmatic Krishna. Vidya Balan does an excellent job of portraying Krishna as a woman of many faces. She starts off as the woman in love but with her husband’s death she seems to change and becomes aloof and mysterious, at least until she meets up with Khalujaan and Babban and seems to come to life again. She knows exactly what she wants and how to achieve it, and will allow nothing to stop her reaching her goal.Krishna is a very strong female character, even if she does turn a little crazy and vengeful at the end, and it’s great to see Vidya Balan in a role which suits her skills as an actress. She doesn’t have too much dialogue and in many scenes conveys most of her emotions through her expressions alone, which she does very well.

The interactions between the three leads are the crux of the film, but the other characters all have their place. Salman Shahid is coldly efficient as the omnipresent Mushtaq who has the knack of turning up at the right place every time. Rajesh Sharma as businessman Kamalkant Kakkad and Gauri Malla as his mistress Mamta have some comedic scenes together, particularly when Babban and Krishna first see them indulging in a little role playing to the wonderful Aa Jaane Jaan from Intaquam. (Another film about a woman out for revenge and Mamta nods to the Helen connection with all those feathers.)

There are some beautifully shot scenes of village life in the film and the cinematography by Mohana Krishna Agapu makes the most of the local countryside. While there aren’t any big song and dance numbers, the songs by Vishal Bhardwaj and Gulzar are excellent and fit well into the film. As well as the film soundtrack, Babban has a tendency to burst into song when he’s happy, and there are some fun renditions of songs from Chak De India and Om Shanti Om. There are so many great moments in this film, both comedic and some very good drama as well. With all the twists and turns the film never drags and Abhishek Chaubey even manages to add in a couple of explosions to add to the mayhem. A very well made film with excellent performances from the three leads – I’m definitely looking forward to the sequel. 4 ½ stars.